Broken, Bleeding, and Dead hearts
by yuri violinist
Summary: Edward and Jacob are dating, then Bella comes to Forks, and Jacob becomes a shapeshifter. Will Jacob keep his prince, or will Bella's silent mind and crippling smell make Edward her's? WARNING: do not read if homophobe.
1. the trip to Hell

Edward's POV

"This time, I'm gonna win!" Emmett says as Jasper once again beats him in a wrestling match.  
"No you're not, Jasper is." Alice foretells…again.  
"Whatever, I already know I'm gonna win, I could do this for three hundred more years." Jasper replies nonchalantly.  
"I'm going for a walk." I say, turning off the news.  
In my house, with my family, most of the time is spent like this: Emmett and Jasper wrestling, or arm wrestling, or something of the sort. Alice and Rosalie are designing on the enhanced touch screen computer designs for Rose, Carlisle at work with the hospital, and Esme reading or swathing. I usually play piano. Or think about _him_. He and I have been going out since I moved here two years ago. He knows about me being a vampire, but my family doesn't know about him, and he doesn't talk to my family. I wouldn't be surprised if Carlisle knew, he has a way of finding things out. Alice knows; that I'm sure of. She doesn't approve, because he's a human, she has a bad feeling about this, but I don't care. She also doesn't object. But I can hear her thoughts; she thinks we're bad for each other, a human and a vampire; totally wrong, right? But the thing is I love him, and that's not gonna change. Jacob Black is what, if I were alive (and not some soulless monster), I would call the love of my life. He doesn't think I'm a monster, he doesn't believe my soul's been destroyed. But I do. As I walk up into his house, Billy comes out, giving me the same hateful glare as always.  
"Hey, is Jake here?" I ask. Billy rolls inside, slamming the door behind him. A minute later, my Jake comes out.  
"Sorry, I've asked him to stop." He says after hugging and kissing me.  
"No problem, at least we still get to see each other." I reply, holding his hand. We start walking toward the beach.  
"So tomorrow do you _have_ to go to school? I mean, really, can't you just skip once."  
"Do we have to go through this again?" I complain. I know he only asks because he loves me and wants to see me."  
"Yes, we do have to go through this again because the one day I don't ask is the one day you're able to get away."  
"Fine then, no, I can't. I would, honestly, you know I would, but none of my family knows, and how could I explain myself?"  
"Carlisle and Alice know." He counters.  
"I'm not sure if Carlisle knows; it's a huge possibility, and Alice is against it already, I can't go giving her another reason to be. And what about Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme, They don't know."  
"I don't care if they hate me, I just wanna be with you." He looks at me with honesty in his eyes. I could hear it in his thoughts as well.  
"I-" I sigh, 'I just can't. I'm really sorry." I tell him.  
Walking through the woods with my Jacob is my favorite pastime. We always spend hours out, walking through the woods as if it's just us, and nobody else exists. After a couple hours, I hear my name called. But it wasn't being called, just thought. It was Alice.  
"What do you want?" I say, knowing she'd be close enough to hear me.  
"Emmett wanted me to find you so that you and he can wrestle; he's tired of jasper kicking his butt." She said, coming from the direction of the front of the forest.  
"You're interrupting my walk with my Jacob for a wrestling match with Emmett he knows he's gonna win?" I ask with teeth clenched.  
"Don't shoot the messenger! I told him not to bother you, and his response was, 'how important can a walk through this boring town be when he has a brother in need of moral support?' then he laughed and sent me to go find you, so I did." She ended with a smile only Alice could pull off around me when I'm mad without me killing her. Well, her and Jacob.  
"Tell him 'no'. If he insists, tell him I'll wrestle him when I get home, and that's a promise." I say, turning and walking away. "Come on Jake, we'll miss the sunset." Jacob started walking with me, when Alice walked up behind me and stopped in front of Jacob.  
"Aren't you going to introduce me to your boyfriend?" she asks with a sly smile.  
_How does she know who I am?_ I heard Jacob's thoughts, obviously directed at me.  
"Don't worry, it's only Alice. She's known forever." I calm him down instantly. "Jacob, my sister Alice, Alice, my boyfriend Jacob,"  
"I don't trust you, but hi!  
"Why don't you trust me? You're the vampire here! I shouldn't trust you!" Jacob shoots back, half jokingly.  
"Well I don't trust you because you're trying to make my brother skip school, and although he doesn't need it, that's still a bad habit."  
"How the hell did you know? What are you stalking us?" he is freaked out, I could tell  
"Alice! No, she wasn't stalking us. She can tell what's going to happen off the decisions you make. So as soon as you decided to try and get me to skip school, she saw it in her mind." I explained.  
"Yeah, thought you knew. Sorry. _Not really._" She thought the last sentence.  
"Actually, you're VERY sorry, now leave!" I replied, busting her.  
"Fine, fine, but Carlisle's home; he wants to see you as of now." And She was gone.  
"Sorry, guess I have to go." I give him a hug and a kiss and was about to leave, but…  
"I love you." He says quietly. If I'd been human, I would have missed it. But as it is, I am not and I heard it. Not to mention, his thoughts were screaming with it, although I think he forgot that I could hear those. I tried to block it out for his privacy. I was stunned, though I think that's the reason Alice left so early.  
"I gotta go. I love you to." and give him another sweet kiss, holding this one longer than the last. He grabs the back of my head and holds on to my hair, as I do to him. We finally let go, and I hug him again, this time, it's over quickly. "Bye, see you later."  
Once I got home, Carlisle is waiting by the Volvo for me, as Alice promised.  
"Yeah," I ask when I get to him.  
"You going to school tomarrow,"  
"Yeah, I guess so," I reply nonchalantly.  
I didn't know that tomorrow would be hell, full blown hell.


	2. Arriving at Hell

Edward's POV

Purgatory, as usual; it was at times like these I wished I could sleep, just to pass the time. All day, thoughts of the Chief Sheriff's daughter were in the head's of boy's; already fantasizing, just because she was something new from the girls they had grown up with. At lunch I thought of Jake, and suddenly I heard my name being spoken.

_Edward_

But not spoken, just thought. To me, it sounded like being spoken, and I always look up whenever said or thought. Luckily, my name had gone out of style some years ago.

_How's Jasper holding up? _Alice frequently asked these types of questions at school, more so at lunch, because of the gathering of kids, or to him, a gathering of blood.

_He's fine, don't ask again!_ I snap. I know it's not right to still be mad at her: or mad at her at all for yesterday. She was just being Alice; I was just irrationally irritable today.

_Fine, just keep an eye on him and tell me if anything happens? _She almost sounded desperate. Lately Jasper had been hunting more often and more thirsty than usual. I nodded, though very discreetly.

_Thanks for this; I've been really worried lately._

After getting his leg kicked, he stopped the thinking.

"You weren't going to do anything, anyway." Alice assured him. Keeping a straight face to cover her lie was not easy, but we were a team, us freaks among freaks, we had to back each other up.

"I know I wasn't, I'm not an animal!" Because of my irritability, Jasper was now irritable. His tone ended all conversation, and hurt Alice. Alice got up, hurt thoughts in her mind, and threw out her trash, promptly leaving.

"Hey, Ed, is the new girl afraid of us yet?" Emmett inquired. I looked up and stared at the girl, listening for the thoughts that should be in the space where she was sitting. Should be, yet wasn't. Was there something I was missing? I stared harder, listening intently. The mass of voices was a full-on massacre.

_I wonder if I got an A in history, I hope I did, if I fail again my…_

_I wonder if pink in my hair is too girlish…I wonder if Katie will like it._

_That dude at the mall yesterday was hot, maybe he'll be there again and I can flirt…_

'_If ab and b equals c, then ac?' how can a equal c if a equals a, or a b for that matter? If ac then where does that leave the b? And why is a equaling..._

'_Hot potato, hot potato, hot potato, hot potato' stupid Wiggles song in my head, stupid Mathew for…_

But nothing from the new girl; it was infuriating!

"Who are _they_?" I heard her ask Jessica Stanley. She caught me looking at her and I looked away quickly. Jessica giggled.

"That's Edward and Emmett Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. The one who left was Alice Cullen; they all live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife." She said this under her breath, but I could still hear.

I tried again to hear her thoughts, hoping that now that I'd heard her verbal voice, which usually has a similar pitch to one's mental voice, I'd be able to pick out her thoughts. This was not the case.

So I settled with hearing her conversation, listening through Jessica's thoughts. This girl had some malicious thoughts, and surprisingly, I wanted to shield her, protect her even, from this girl with thoughts as wild as a boar's. This was unusual, as I'd never wanted to protect anyone, except my Jacob, and even that's absurd. The predator protecting the prey from someone who is potential prey for the predator was just poppycock. I lazed through the rest of the lunch period; half of my mind trying to solve the Rubik's Cube called Isabella Swan, and half my mind, okay, most my mind, wanting to kiss Jacob.

As the bell rang, Emmett caught my shirt sleeve.

"Is she scared of us yet, or not?" He asked; only Emmett would let that one question fill his mind for the entire lunch period. I briefly wondered if maybe he missed the part where I couldn't hear her thoughts, but then it dawned on me, he had been left out of the mix, only me, myself, and I realize that I cannot hear her thoughts, and could not quite read her face. Maybe I was not as cunning as I thought I was. All pragmatics were gone with this girl. But next was biology. A lab which would be done within two seconds was today. Yet another free period to unravel this girl…

Sitting in Biology, waiting for class to start so I can start thinking: purgatory as usual, and _she _walks in. I try again to hear what she's thinking, and still, silence on her part. Is she just not thinking, or is it something more? Is it me? Am I losing something? I test this by hearing the girl who is sitting at the table that _she_ just tripped over.

_Maybe her father should lock her up; it should be a crime to be so clumsy; I've seen her trip like, 30,000 times today. (giggle)_

I scowl. For some reason, the girl's jibes towards her made me mad. I tested the strength of my hearing, by listening to Jacob's. The only reason I can hear his is because I'm so attuned to it.

_I wish Edward could come over…I miss him…I can't stand school……_

I was anxious now; she was coming to sit at the only table with an open seat: Mine. As I thought about this, I cleared the space that would be defined as hers, putting my props that people call school supplies on the floor next to my chair. As she moved to sit down, a gust of air blew her scent to me. The strength of the smell; it almost completely incapacitated me. It felt like a wrecking ball, like Marcus of the Volturi ramming me into Emmett and Jasper, like a wrecking ball slamming me in the head. No, none of these descriptions were definition enough for the lust, the pure lust of her blood I felt now. If I'd known such a scent existed, that it truly existed, I would have searched it down long ago. I would have scoured the earth for this miraculous scent. Venom flowed in my mouth, forcing me to swallow it almost constantly. Suddenly, the monster I had been, the monster that was still trapped inside me, was just as abruptly lusting and thirsty as the regular me is. I could see him clearly now, in my mind's eye. His eyes glowing a crimson, deep, lustful red; her scent visibly swirling around in the pupils, his fangs bared to her naked neck; somehow he had gotten her in his grasp. I thought of all the ways how; a hundred different ways how to kill her. I could kill everyone on my right side, four or maybe five necks a second. Maybe my left side may be able to react, but not leave, I could not let the eighteen plus students, and the grown man see what they were bound to see and live. She would be able to run, not far, and not escape. If I killed her first, I'd have fifteen, twenty seconds with her before the panic, maybe more if the room were in shock. I'd have to block escape. There was a window, but that need not be worried about, for we are on the second floor. They wouldn't risk breaking something, especially if it meant they would be sitting ducks for the murderer that had sat among them. All of this took place in less than a second; she was still taking the step toward me that had blown her scent downwind. Her face was surprised; the only thing keeping me from reacting on plans made by a murderer inside a monster. Her scent almost lurched me out of my seat, but I would not give in that easily. I clutched the underside of the table; creating woodchips under the tale below them, and a hand print on the underside of my desk. I scattered the chips with my foot while I made the etch on my desk more circular

_Delete the damage,_ standard procedure. The other victims, the other would-be witnesses, were collateral junk in my mind. My mind, still wrapped around this Rubik's cube of this human. I pushed my seat as far away from her as I could. Wondering what she was thinking. A thought that had dominated over even the Rubik's cube: What was she thinking, and how could I hear it?

Bella's POV

Just as I passed, he suddenly went rigid in his seat. He stared at me again; meeting my eyes with the strangest expression on his face—it was hostile, furious. I looked away quickly, shocked, going red again. I stumbled over a book in the walkway and had to catch myself on the edge of the table. The girl sitting there giggled.

I'd noticed that his eyes were black—coal black.

Mr. Banner signed my slip with no nonsense about introductions. I could tell we were going to get along famously. Of course, he had no choice but to send me to the one open seat in the middle of the room. I kept my eyes down as I went to sit by _him_, bewildered by the antagonistic stare he'd given me.

I didn't look up as I set my book on the table and took my seat, but I saw his posture change from the corner of my eye. He was leaning away from me, sitting on the extreme edge of his chair and averting his face like he smelled something bad.

I met a boy named Mike, and watched four simultaneous volley ball games. I was invited to two games, but I remembered how many games I had sustained and inflicted, and opted to walking around the gym.

The final bell rang at last. I walked slowly to the office to return my paperwork. The rain had drifted way, but the wind was strong, and colder. I wrapped my arms around myself.

When I walked into the warm office, I almost turned around and walked straight to my car, thinking about giving the woman the card tomorrow, with the excuse that I'd 'forgotten'.

Edward Cullen stood at the desk in front of my. I recognized again that tousled bronze hair. He didn't appear to notice the sound of my entrance. A girl walked in and suddenly he went rigid.

"I can see that this is impossible. Thank you." He said mechanically and walked out.

"Did you have a good day?"

"Yes," I lie.


	3. the angel, the devil, and the mortal

**A/N: A lot of people are saying that they're confused about this. This is pretty much to set things off. One of the FAQ's are "How does Bella know they aren't human?" and the answer is very simple: the coal black eyes. Nobody has eyes that like. My own eyes are deep, dark brown that is mistaken often for black, but the simplicity of it is… its brown. So when she notices the eyes are coal black, she knows he's not human. And if he's not human, then none of the Cullens are human. Does that make sense?**

Bella's POV

That night Charlie goes out to Billy's house.

While he's out, I hear a knock on the door. I put down my favorite book, _Wuthering Heights_, answer the door. Standing there, in a brown button-down shirt and faded blue jeans was Edward Cullen, standing behind him were his brothers Emmett and Jasper; I think their names were. Jasper stood farthest from me, although Emmett was just behind Edward.

"Can I help you?" I asked tentatively. Emmett smiles while Edward scowls on his face; it makes him look really dangerous. I gulp, suddenly scared and tense. I think of my chances of out-running them. It isn't likely at all. Then, out of nowhere, I feel…calm. Calmness and peace wash over me like flowing water. I have no reason to feel like that. It looks like they could all kill me within a second. Yet still, with this thought, I'm calm. I can't explain it.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asks suddenly, breaking my train of thought.

"Umm, I-I'm thinking of my chances of out-running you into the kitchen to get to Charlie's gun." Emmett burst out laughing, like the chances of that are non-existent. I'm pretty sure they are.

"It's not like it'll do anything. Except put your life in danger more." Jasper mumbled

He was barely audible

I gulped, trying to clear the lump in my throat, only making it bigger. "What did I do?" I asked, automatically taking the blame for this massacre of. Of what, they weren't human, I knew that much for certain, but what were they? Deadly, that's what they were, deadly and mad, not a good combination. But I knew this house better than them; maybe I'd be able to scare them. But I can't lie for anything. I'd have to steer clear of the big one, Emmett I think, but jasper's lanky frame I may be able to take out with a blow of something. I tried to think of what was laying around the house. It's in pretty good shape, no wood was hanging loose anywhere. But that means I have no weapons in defense. Usually it would mean they have no weapons for offense, but they wouldn't come here and threaten the daughter of the sheriff without them. And there's always the chance that Charlie would be home. But they had taken all of those chances without a visible weapon.

"She looks like she's about to piss her pants, it's hilarious!" Emmett burst out suddenly, a huge grin on his face. He started laughing as I felt my face get hot; and surely red as my hair. Emmett in turn, started laughing louder as I looked down at my feet.

"Emmett, leave the poor girl alone. My reasons for coming are enough to scare her; she doesn't need you adding to the mix." Edward says coolly, not smiling, face blank.

"Your… what _are_ your intentions for coming to my house?" I ask, trying futilely to cover the quivering in my voice.

"I know you figured out our secret. I'm here to make sure you spread the word, especially not to your father."

"Sec- what secret...?" I ask, playing honestly. Since I truly don't know what their secret is, it doesn't sound like a forced lie.

"Don't play dumb. What, do you take me for a fool?" he asked, suddenly his eyes were dark, and I swear I saw fangs coming from his front incisors… suddenly I felt myself calm down immensely, given the situation. Emmett's fading smile suggested he was feeling the same, and Edward's face went back to that blank, attentive stare. He hardly blinked. Jasper had a badly suppressed small, grim, smug smile on his lips.

"I'm sorry. Now that you know our secret, don't tell."

"Honestly, what secret, I know you're not…not human, but, I don't know what you are, besides deadly. But I guess everyone's deadly if they want to be. But I sense of you being deadly with-with out trying." I stumbled. My words choked in my throat as he stepped closer, and I got my first good smell of Edward Cullen. And suddenly, it was like an addiction. Like he was the heroin, and I was an addict. I wanted him to be mine, like I've never wanted anyone before. It's was a driving, piercing feeling. Like lust, only it was much deeper. But now, as my life was, miserable in this droll little town, was suddenly a blessing, because it had brought him to me. And now, with a forcefulness I didn't know existed, I would make him mine, no matter what the cost.


	4. Rage

**A/N: i appreciate the reviews from everyone, but when you review every chapter it kind of makes it harder for me. i try to respond to everyone, but if you do review, please read all the chapters posted before you review. if you have a problem with a certain chapter and you love all the others don't review each chapter, do one review and tell me which chapter it is that you don't like and why and i'll try to improve it over the following chapters. i'm a busy person, and i get these things by e-mail, plus all the other e-mails i get; it's hard on me. so please be considerate. thanks you much!^_^  
****-Bellisimo Anjo**

* * *

Jacob'spoint of view

"I love seeing your face when I wake up."

"I love seeing you sleep."

My prince kisses me. Sweetly at first, then getting deep and passionate. I suddenly roll on top of him without thinking about it. He laughs and rolls back on top. "What do you think you're doing, mister?"

"Can we fool around?" I give him the cutest puppy dog face that I can manage and kiss the corner of his mouth lightly. "Please?"

"No. I haven't fed in a couple of weeks. I don't want to take any chances. My brothers and father and I are going hunting later today."

"No!" I look at him sadly. I hate when I have to spend time away from him. I feel like he won't come back.

"Yes. Then tomorrow we can fool around. I promise."

"Okay. Can we at least make out?" I ask hopefully.

He looks at me then takes off his shirt and answers me with a passionate kiss. I grab at his back as his tongue embraces mine. I slide my hands to his chest and appreciate his molded form. I lay my hand over where his heart is supposed to be. I do this a lot. And his reaction this time is no different than any other time. He stops breathing and stays perfectly still. There's no beating heart. At first this unnerved me, but eventually I started to like it. I kiss the spot and put my forehead to it. He takes a big breath and lies down next to me, playing with my long hair. I lay my head on his chest and put my arms around his waist. He holds me under my arms and I look up at his face. He's looking straight up.

"I can't read minds like you."

"Good."

"You're not a monster."  
"Maybe not. But I am a killer."

"Who isn't?"

"Um… you."

"Hey, I've killed my share of rats in this place." I chuckle. He just laughs and looks at me. Suddenly he gets up.

"I've gotta go. We're about to leave." He gives me a long, hard kiss. We french and he moans and pushes me into the bed with his body, suddenly over me. I reach for his pants, my lips never leaving his. He closes his eyes, and I close mine. I pull out his cock and start unzipping my pants. He starts to hump me before I even get my pants off. He does it for me, so fast I hardly realize what's happening. He turns me around and holds my waist in one arm; both of my hands in his other hand. He starts out gentle, as always, but doesn't stay gentle as usual. He quickly goes faster and harder. His breathing quickly becomes sparse, until he stops breathing altogether. He's going faster and harder than he ever allowed himself to go. He goes harder and faster until it starts to hurt. And he still goes harder and harder, faster and faster. He's still not breathing. I, on the other hand, can barely catch a breath. And I need to breathe. I grab at the sheets on my too small bed, clenching my teeth. I start to bite my lip, grunting and moaning with pleasure. He lets go of my wrists and offers his finger to bite on so my lip doesn't start bleeding. He's still going faster and harder. His dick almost in my ass up to balls length. Suddenly he stops and backs off to the other side of the room. I want to turn and look at him, but I can't move. Even though it was only a couple of minutes, my body feels like it was hours.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself." I say into the pillow. I'm breathing hard, hoping there's more, knowing there's not.

"Neither could I. you almost made your lip bleed. You've gotta be more careful, love."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was doing it."

"I know." He's suddenly turning me around and kissing me. I realize for the first time that he'd taken his pants off; most likely at the same time he took off mine. I hold him. "I've gotta go, now. I'll see you tonight, okay, my love?"

"Okay."

BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW

~the next day~

I wanted him. There was no way around it. He wasn't human. That was obvious. But I didn't care. He could be a vampire for all I cared. But I wanted him. Not just his body, but his soul. I wanted to know the deepest recesses of his heart. I wanted to know the darkest part of his soul, and the part of his mind he didn't show to anyone. I'd find out what he and his family were. Then I would confront him. Then I would make him mine. I didn't know where this was coming from. I was never the type of girl to go so desperately after something. I never thought about how to get that boy I had a crush on. If he didn't like me, or he was already taken, I'd leave it. If he wouldn't go after me, he wasn't worth it. But not this time. If he didn't like me, I'd make him. If he had a girlfriend, I'd kill her. Literally, I felt. _What if he has a _boyfriend_? Unlikely, but you never know. He didn't have a particularly gayness about him. He wasn't over-effeminate but not all gay guys are. Why am I even thinking about this? He's not gay. Bisexual, maybe. _I'd tried with a few bi girls in Phoenix. It was fun for a little bit, until I grew out of the phase. All we'd ever done is make out, nothing serious. So I hadn't been too worried. It wasn't like I had a reputation, anyway. _I wonder if Edward has a reputation._ The thought consumed my mind as I once again started to plot my taking of him. I fell asleep thinking of his arms around me, his lips on my head, feeling his hard cock against my lower back. The thoughts were so real they carried over to my dreams. And the dreams were so real I woke up the next morning smiling as if it had all happened. I smiled even more at the thought of seeing him at school. But I didn't see him. Not for the next week. This was bullshit. I would never make him mine like this.

~a week later~

That afternoon Billy and Jacob came over for the first time since I had moved here. I hadn't seen Jacob in a long time, so things were a bit awkward between us.

"Um…hey. Long time, no see." He was looking down and his voice was tentative and timid.

"Yeah…long time, no see." I looked around. When he had come over to give me the truck I was sleeping; tired from my flight over. "Thanks for the truck. I love it."

"Yeah, it's a good car. I totally rebuilt the engine for you."

"Thanks. So you like cars?" instant conversation starter.

"Hell yeah, I'm a total autophile."

"Since you rebuilt an engine you must be good."

"Not really, rebuilding engines is easy. All you have to do is take the engine out, disassemble it, remember exactly how every part fits into the other, get new ones, make sure you put it back together exactly right, make sure all the parts fit, make sure it fits into the spot with the rest of your car, and put it back in, then test run it, and if it doesn't work, do it all over again with different parts until it does."

"You lied to me."

"Huh?"  
"You said it was easy to rebuild a car engine." We laughed. He was two years younger, but it seemed like we would get along.

"It is! Just…not to you." We were chuckling and already drenched. For the first time, I didn't notice the rain. We would get along just fine.

"Hey, let's go inside before we get sick or something."

"Yeah... That's probably a good idea." We went upstairs and into my bedroom. "There's a lot of purple in here."

"Yeah, Charlie thought it was a good color for me. I don't mind it. Too much." He chuckled.

"Hey, I'mma get some soda and pizza, want some?"

"Yeah, ask me in my own house if I want anything." I was mocking him, but playfully. He thought I was seriously mad, and looked down, blushing.

"Oh, um… I mean…"

I burst out laughing, "I'm joking, yeah. Get whatever you want, I don't care. I'm pretty sure Charlie doesn't, either." He sighed in relief and chuckled. He went downstairs. Though I liked him, there was something about him. Something I couldn't explain. Something that made me hate him to my soul. It unnerved me. I chalked it up to being in this desolate, miserable place, and not being able to get the man I loved. A few minutes later he came back up with two plates and soda cans. I stood and took one of each from him. At that moment, his cell phone rang. He looked stricken.

"Um…can you hold on? This is my…er… boyfriend." He looked down and blushed. I suddenly realized he was gay. It wasn't very apparent. _Another example that Edward could be gay. You didn't know Jacob was until he practically slapped you in the face with it._ I talked to myself all the time. When I was younger I thought it made me crazy. But I realized that it's just how I communicate best with myself.

"…yeah. Well I gotta go; I'm at my friend's house. Yeah, her name is Bella. Okay. I love you, too. Bye, Edward, have fun on your…er…trip."

"Edward?" my mind started reeling. But before I started hyperventilating I had better see if what I'm hearing is true. "Edward Cullen?"

"Um…yeah. He's my b-boyfriend." His stutter made me realize he wasn't lying, or joking. He was serious. That deep, undying hate I had felt for him before came rising to the surface like a swimmer gasping for air. The look on my face must have said murder. That's sure what I felt. I didn't approve of this at ALL. Edward was _my_ man. And he was gay. I'll just have to change that. And as for what I thought was someone I could get used to, it was this feather-wearing, flower-praising, bear-eating _hippie-wanna-be_ and he thought he could get away with dating the man _I _was in love with? Who the _fuck_ did he think he was?

"Get out of my house." I said with absolutely no emotion other than pure, unadulterated hatred.

"Look, I'm not gay. I don't know, I just sort of…fell for him. I won't mention it around you, if you're uncomfortable with it."

"You're damn right I'm uncomfortable with it. First of all, _stay the fuck away from Edward Cullen_." Nothing but rage filled my voice. "And second of all, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE! NOW!" This last sentence was screamed so loud Charlie came bounding up the stairs like Santa down a chimney.

"What's going on here?" he looked threateningly at Jacob and Jacob seemed to shrink into himself.

"I don't…Bella doesn't like gay people, I guess."

"You're gay?"

"Yeah…um…I should go." He caught my glare again. "Maybe I'll come back when she's not here."

"Maybe you'll die a horrible death! Maybe I'll help with that!" I screamed. I had no clue where this was coming from. He ran from the house, past his father, past the car outside.

"Son, wait for me." Billy said in a calm, low voice. He did. But he was shaking and obviously anxious. When Billy got in the passenger seat, Jacob threw himself into the driver's seat after putting the wheelchair in the bed. After they drove down the street Charlie turned to me.

"What was that about, Bells?" he looked at me expectantly.

"It's not because he's gay. It's who he's gay _for_."

"What, do you like the boy? If he's gay you've got no chance, so shouldn't you be happy for your friend?"

"Don't give me that bull, Dad. I love Edward and he's sitting there kissing him like its goddamned valentine's day!"

"Wait, Edward _Cullen_? Does his father know he's gay?"

"He's not gay! And if he is, he won't be much longer!" I slammed my way up the stairs and into my bedroom, blaring Blue October's Black Orchid. Paul had given their CD to me for my last birthday, and actually had gotten really into the band. I had gotten Argue With A Tree, Foiled For The Last Time, Approaching Normal, and The Answers on my own. And had to get to a CD store for Foiled, Calling You, Foiled Again, and History For Sale. The only other rock band I had really gotten into was Linkin Park. I had Meteora, Reanimation, Minutes To Midnight, Road To Revolution, and New Divide. I turned off Black Orchid and started playing X-Ecutioner style. I blared it until eventually I fell asleep. When I woke up he was there in my room. Edward. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming, so I went to turn the light on, and when I looked back he was gone. I knew I was awake, because in my dream he would've still been there. I sighed and looked out my window. It wasn't raining. Yet. It would be soon, I was sure. But it was Sunday. I turned on my ancient computer and decided to go downstairs for breakfast. Charlie and I had agreed that the money that usually went to eating at the diner would now go for groceries. I had gotten pop-tarts, cereal, and some organic stuff that I had tried during one of my mom's eccentric phases where she got rid of all the 'impure' foods in her life. It had only lasted a week, and we'd cheated plenty of times. But there were a few things I actually enjoyed that we'd tried. A few were the veggie lasagna, and mostly Kashi brand foods. When I came upstairs with a bagel and a cup of hot chocolate it was ready. I logged on and ate and drank and brushed my teeth and my hair and put my hair up in a ponytail. I went back in and saw an e-mail from Renee.

_Bella,_

_I know something is wrong. I feel it in my heart. Please call me whenever you get this so I know everything is okay with you and Charlie. I love you, take care of yourself._

That was sent just a half hour after the…incident with Jacob last night. and another one that night.

_Bella, _

_Why haven't you called? Or at least sent me an e-mail or something? I'm starting to get worried about you._

And another.

_Isabella Swan,_

_Call me immediately! I love you!_

My mother worried. I slept all afternoon, evening, and night. hatred took a lot out of a person. I went downstairs and picked up the phone just as Charlie was leaving. He stopped and looked at me kind of funny.

"Are you okay or will I have to detain you for the rest of the day?" he said, half joking.

"I'm fine. I'm going to call mom now."

"Okay. Tell her I said hi." And he was gone. I looked at the clock; fifteen minutes until I had to leave. Plenty of time. As I dialed the number and listened to the ringing I started wondering what I should tell her. It answered on the first ring. So much for making a well thought out decision.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, mom. I didn't call or answer your e-mails because I was asleep."

"Oh, Bella, I was worried! What happened?" sometimes I thought my mother had ESP. sometimes she did. At least, with me. Motherly instincts, though I had mostly been the mother growing up. "And don't hold anything back."

"I can't tell you everything." She started to protest. "Not now. I have fifteen minutes until I have to leave for school. But I'll tell you that I got in a fight with my friend over a guy."

"Oh, honey, does she like him, too?"

"Well, I guess you could say that. It's a guy, though. And he's dating him. I hate it. I freaked out at him when he told me. I don't feel bad about it, though. Now he thinks it's because he's gay."

"Oh, well... that's…unorthodox. Tell me all about it when you get home, okay, honey?"

"Yeah. I'mma go so I can get a good parking spot."

~later that day~

"We need to talk." Edward Cullen was standing outside of my window. I got out. I had sworn he was across the parking lot just seconds ago…

"What?" I was mad at him. I didn't know why. And irrational anger was not like me at all. But I was pissed. Livid.

"Jacob." That explained everything. We walked out past the school and into the woods. It was time to confront him. now all I had to do was find out what he was…

NOTE: sorry I haven't posted in so long, I've been extremely busy. I'm back, though. And I own nothing. I use parts from the book, and the movie, and I use real brand names and band names, but I own none of them, and am NOT part of any of the franchises. This is all purely fan based. Please RR. Thank you!^_^

-Bellisimo Anjo


	5. Changes

CHAPTER 5: Bella's POV

"What the hell is your problem?" He swiveled around and faced me. "He's not even gay?"

"You are, though. Aren't you?" I ask with conviction. I know what I did yesterday was wrong and I should be apologizing but he drove me insane! He pissed me off so royally I don't even know why I love him. If you've ever loved someone so much, and wanted to rip their head off their shoulders at the same time, you know how I felt at that moment. I wanted to kiss him, and slap him. I wanted to burn him, to fuck him.

"No. I just couldn't help myself. He grows on you. Though I don't particularly enjoy his scent."

"What, are you a were-wolf or something?"

"No. I'm a vampire."

Edward's POV

I can't believe I just told her that so easily. I came to talk to her and scare the hell out of her for making my Jacob cry like that. He wasn't exactly a cry baby either. I knew something was wrong; he was uncomfortable about something and I wanted to find out what. She looked at me with belief and did something I didn't expect, and couldn't stop for that reason; she kissed me. She was only standing a few inches away. My first thought was to repel her, but I made the mistake of breathing in. Her sweet, irresistible scent filled me up and made me want her like an abstinent sex fiend; I wanted to drink her like a dry alcoholic. And I found myself wrapping my arms around her. I was deepening the kiss. I was leading her on. But I didn't love her. I love Jacob. He's my Jacob. But I kept kissing her. I wondered briefly what she was thinking. What was going on inside that mind. It was frustrating not to know. It made me want to know more than any other human. She fascinated me, quite simply. But even though I was transfixed by her silent mind, her crippling smell, the feel of her soft lips on mine, her curves, her body, her hair, I had thoughts weaving through my mind. Jacob's face. His kisses. His touch. His hands in my hair. _This is cheating. This is wrong. How am I going to tell Jacob? Whether I do or not, she will. _As it was, I didn't need to tell him.

Jacob's POV

"What the hell?" I scream. My prince was kissing that wench? She had made me cry; not the easiest thing in the world to do. They suddenly pull away. Bella looking guilty, yet smiling not un-smugly. Edward looks stricken, but he's smiling, too. And though I know he can't help it, It makes it hurt even more; he's never smiled so helplessly from me. Not from just a kiss. "You were supposed to scare her, not make out with her! How long have you been cheating on me? She's been here two weeks, and you weren't even here for half of that time!"

"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me!" liar.

"We planned this! What, did you forget I was here?"

"Yes. I'm so sorry, love. Please-"

"Oh, sorry makes it _so_ much better! Can you tell I'm being sarcastic you leech!?"

"You planned this?" the wench chirped up.

"Shut up! You have nothing to say! How dare you tell me to stay away from _my_ boyfriend?"

"You're the one who ran away like a dog with your tail between your legs!"

"I thought it was because I'm gay! Well I'm not, but I thought you thought I was! It didn't register that you said stay away from him! Why don't you go back to Arizona? Nobody wants you here!"

"Oh, yeah, real mature! You don't sound fifteen at all!"

"Both of you shut up." He said so quietly, so dangerously, we immediately stopped arguing as if he'd slapped us.

"Bella, stay away from me. And Jacob. Jacob, stay away from Bella. Go back to your house, we'll talk. I'll be there in a minute."

I wanted to protest. I wanted to scream at him, but he gave me a warning look. I knew that look; there was no room for discussion. There was no room for arguments. I was to do as I was told. I spit at Bella's feet. She lunged towards me, but Edward stopped her. I didn't even flinch. I knew he wouldn't let her hurt me. But then he does another thing I never expected: he kisses her again. He whispers something in her ear I can't hear. She smiles and walks away, back towards the school. I turn around and start walking away towards the reservation. To my dismay, he followed her, leaving me to walk alone. Instead of going home, I wander the forest. I'm pissed off. At that bitch for stealing my prince. At Edward for choosing her. At myself for thinking she was cool when I met her. I'm shaking, I'm so mad. _I hate you, Edward Cullen!_ I know he can hear me. I hope he feels like shit. I hope when he thinks about coming over to watch me sleep he thinks twice. _We're over! I can't believe you did that! How could you?_ I start shaking more and more. I start feeling weird and decide to go home. Halfway there I fall down, shaking. I feel like I'm going to throw up. My vision starts going weird, shapes start deforming, and colors look weird. The green trees start going gray. The sky gets white; my blue tank top looks black. Suddenly, my entire body starts feeling like the bones are extending. I wonder if this is what a seizure feels like. There are voices in my head. They sound familiar, but I can't place them. Not all of them. One, I can place, and I'm not happy with the knowledge. Sam Uley. Suddenly all the voices seem familiar; I can place them all.

**You're going to be okay. We're here to help you.**

**What the hell is happening to me?**

**You're changing. You're making the turn. **

**What turn? And why now?**

**The stories are true. All of them. You're shape shifting into a wolf. The first time is the worst. You'll get used to it, and eventually be able to control it.**

**I don't want to control it! I want this to end! It hurts!**

The entire exchange happened in seconds. Talking to Sam made it feel a bit better. Suddenly I hear footsteps. I can't open my eyes because the light is blinding.

"Jacob!" I hear Edward scream. Then I realize another sound; someone else is screaming. It sounds almost like a howl. I feel a cold hand on my face. "Jacob you have a fever. It's really bad. We need to get you home."

"Don't touch me." I somehow can speak.

**Let him. Then stay away from him, he's the reason you're like this.**

**But I love him! I can't stay away from him! **

**You have to. You'll never be able to turn back human.**

**What the hell are you talking about? I'm already human.**

**At the moment you are, but you won't be in a few days.**

**What's going on?**

**I told you; you're changing into a wolf. **

**But I don't want to!**

**Neither did I. Nor did Paul or anyone. None of us want it. But we have to. I thought maybe you could wait a few more years. But I should have known when you started dating Cullen. I should have told you.**

**Don't talk about him like that! Why does it hurt so much?**

**You'll get used to the pain. **

**How long will this last?**

**About a week. Tell Edward to pick you up and take you home. And to hurry. **

"Edward, get me home. Don't waste time. Don't knock. Just break down the door if you have to." I can barely breathe, much less speak.

I pass out.

I don't remember anything. Next thing I know, I'm surrounded by voices.

Edward's POV

I walk through the forest. I heard him break up with me. I heard him say he hates me. I told her I love him and to stay away from me. She refused, of course. I hear screaming. I hear him screaming. He's in trouble. I'm right by his side. I see him on the ground, writhing and screaming and sweating. I touch his forehead; it feels like a stove on high. _This is bad_. I listen to his thoughts, I hear his conversation with Sam Uley._ This is it. This is what Alice has been warning me of. I didn't listen. I should have listened. Now we won't be able to stand each other. _

~a week and a half later~

My cell phone rings. It's Jacob. Finally. I've been wanting to talk to him since his father told me to leave and never return.

"Jacob won't stop asking for you. He keeps trying to get up to get to you. Come over then leave." It's his father.

"Okay. I'll be over there in a minute."

"Drive. Don't run." He hangs up. I wonder why. But I comply. Anything to see my Jacob again, to know he's okay. As I arrive I see Bella coming out of the house.

"What are you doing here?"

"Charlie came to make sure he was okay and he made me say sorry. Jacob and I are okay."

"Did you tell him what we talked about?"

"No. I'll let him get better before I do that. Billy told me what's going on. I'm guessing you already know."

"Yeah. I do."

"This changes everything. You and him can never be together."

"I know." I wanted to cry. But I couldn't. I did the next best thing: I crumpled in on myself and let myself collapse. Bella runs to my side, to my surprise.

"Are you okay?"

"No. I love him. I'm not gay, but I can't help but love him. He and I will never be together. I can't be okay, knowing that."

"You're not alone. Besides your family, and all, you have me. I'm here. And I love you."

"I know." I look up at her. And once again we kiss. Luckily nobody saw us. But it makes me feel better. I get up and take a few deep breaths. She kisses me again, and then walks to her truck. "Wait, where are you going?"

"Port Angeles. There's this CD store I've been wanting to get to."

"Oh. B-be careful. Please." She seems stunned.

"I didn't think you cared after what you said last week."

"I'm a bit sensitive lately. I think you can understand why."

"Yeah. Well I'mma get going before this place closes." I can't help but look at her hair flowing over her shoulders. I notice her clumsy, yet sexy way of walking. Then I turn around and walk in to see Jacob. To see my Jacob. I didn't expect what I saw _at all._


	6. Betrayal

WARNING: THIS APPLIES FOR THE ENTIRE FANFICTION (though it's admittedly a bit late in the story =Y; sexual content! Boy on boy, girl on boy; maybe even girl on girl. Who knows?

DISCLAIMER: THIS ALSO APPLIES FOR ENTIRE FANFICTION: every band and brand name and any other copyrighted title that I use has nothing to do with me, any views expressed in this fanfiction are purely of me, the author, and not the band/brand/etc. that I expressed. Thank you ^_^ I own nothing.

*~*~*

CHAPTER 6: Bella's point of view

"Bella, Is that you?" I hear a voice. Quite familiar… yet I can't think of a name to go with the voice and face, even after two weeks.

"Jess, she's probably busy." I know that voice: Angela Weber. I silently thank her for giving me the name.

"Hey, Jessica; hey Angela. What are you guys doing here?" I ask. I'm anxious to get to the CD store; I don't know when they close.

"Looking for prom dresses. You?"

"I'm about to head to this CD store down on 9th."

"Oh, I know that store. It has a horrible selection. Mostly country music and old people music like Frank Sinatra and Billie Holiday."

"Oh, okay. I guess I'll walk around, then." I actually like Billie Holiday and Frank Sinatra. I got into them when Renee decided she wanted to get into the "history of musical culture" or something like that and decided to get every CD from anyone famous from 1935 to 1995. Most of the music I didn't like, but Billie Holiday and Frank Sinatra just struck a nerve. They're not my favorites but they have some good music. But I don't want them to think I'm some type of lame hippie listening to them or something.

"We're gonna get something to eat, want to come?" Angela's nice, I decide. I like her. But Jessica stands on and tries (and fails) to hide the look on her face that clearly states that she did _not_ want me to join them. I guess she's paying.

"No, thanks. I'm just going to walk around, get out some."

"Okay. Well if you change your mind we're going to La Carissa. It's on 22nd and Flux Ave. I hope we see you there." She is definitely nice. I like her.

"Um…thanks. But really, I'll be fine." She smiles and walks away. Jessica sighs of relief, but Angela doesn't hear. I turn down a side street. I want to leave my truck to save gas and keep from getting the spotlight with its loud engine and rusty color. I turn down another side street; having no idea where I'm going. Just away. Away from the sight of Jacob surrounded by teenage boys that looked like body builders in their mid-twenties. And from my father, trying to get us to make up like kindergartners on a playground. And from _him_. As I walk I keep track of where I'm going. But my mind starts to wander to the week before.

"_You and I can't be together."_

"_Because of Jacob."_

"_Yes. But there's more than that. You're a human."_

"_And so is Jacob."_

"_Not for forever." The look on his face was guilt ridden. Like something was his fault. The only thing I could think of was that he'd change Jacob into a vampire. Not that that was surprising. But if that was all, why wouldn't he just tell me?_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_He'll explain. If you give him the chance."_

I didn't know what he meant. So when my father made us apologize I asked Billy about the Quileute tribe legends.

"_We are descended from wolves. I can't tell you much, but I can tell you that you should stay away from the Cullens. They are evil and will hurt you. They are not to be trusted. They are not human. Stay friends with the pale faces. We will protect you if need be."_

"_Yeah. I got it. Um…I know what they are." _

"_Then you should know not to associate with them. It will cost you your life if you do."_

"_Um…yeah. Thanks. How would you protect me, though? If they're vampires?" I whispered the last word, but Charlie was in the living room watching a game. He couldn't hear anything, and he wasn't listening."_

"_I cannot and will not tell you how. Just that we will. Trust us. You and Jacob need to be friends because he will now be your protector." That was weird to hear. This boy, fifteen years old to my seventeen, was going to protect me? He had a lanky build, though he had buffed up undeniably in a week and a half. He seemed to have gotten taller. Maybe the last week and a half was just…a really big growth spurt. _

The make up with Jacob was even weirder. I turn down another side street, still thinking of before. The guys around Jacob had gone into the living room after a couple of minutes of Jacob telling them it was okay, and a weird staring contest between him and the biggest guy.

"_H-how are you feeling?"_

"_Like shit. Do you know what happened to me?"_

"_No."_

"_Good. I'm not supposed to tell. Scratch that; I can't tell."_

"_Well your dad told me some of the old legends."_

"_Good."_

"_I know he's a vampire. Edward, I mean. Not your dad. And I know you're descended from wolves. And that I should stay with the 'pale faces'." I rolled my eyes._

"_Do you know the rest of the legend?"_

"_No. But apparently you're my protector."_

"_Well you better start sucking up if your life is in my hands." But he smiled. I knew right then he forgave me. I still felt the need to say sorry. _

"_Look, I'm usually not a malicious person or anything. I don't know what came over me. I don't dislike you because you're gay-"_

"_I'm not gay. I like girls. I like…you. But for some reason I can't help but love Edward. Well, I couldn't. But now…I wish I could tell you what's happening to me." His words shocked me. I could look in his eyes and know it was the truth. One particular sentence struck me. He said he likes _me_. 'But that's impossible. He was my enemy. But on what basis? He broke up with Edward. He isn't gay. Not that I'm a homophobe or anything. He had no hard feelings for me. So I should have no hard feelings for him. And I don't.'_

"_Well what happened when you freaked out?"_

"_That's the part I can't tell!" he sounded frustrated._

"_Okay, calm down. Don't give yourself an aneurism."_

_His laugh was…endearing. "Okay, I broke out in a sweat, I'm over 100 degrees" a touch to his head confirmed it "I grew like shit. And I feel like…a dog now."_

"_A dog? You feel like…that's some kind of hint, right?"_

"_Yeah. Come on, think. My father just told you the stories. Well. They're true. All of them."_

"_You're a…"_

My memory is stopped short by a group of guys surrounding me. They start getting closer and closer and I realize that it's just past dark, I can hardly see, and I haven't the slightest idea where the hell I am.

"Hey, baby. Wanna come get a drink with us?"

"Come on, you're pretty cute."

"We'll show you a real good time." I weigh my chances of trying to get away. Slim to none. I'm surrounded, I'm clumsy, and I don't know where I am. I think about the Swiss army knife I have in my pocket. It wouldn't do much, I assume. I'm from a big city, doesn't mean I know how to fight. I was always the one that kept my head down and never got into anything. Just as I feel a pair of hands on my stomach, slowly sliding their way up, there's a screech of tires.

A sudden flash of light.

Another squeal of tires.

The men scatter, and the car stops short a few yards of me. Edward Cullen, of all people, gets out. He looks absolutely murderous. His eyes are a coal black, when earlier they had more brown in them. It must be the dark.

"Isabella; get in." I can tell by the use of my full name that he's ready to kill them. Literally. I get in the car and watch through the windshield. I can't hear what he's saying, but I can hear the other man's side of the conversation if only slightly. I have to concentrate some to hear through the thick glass and the sound of the rain on the windshield and top of the car.

"Sorry man, I didn't know she's taken." I can tell Edward's responding, but I don't know what he's saying. Whatever it is, it scares the man. "Hey, man, we're just trying to have a fun Friday night, okay?" another response. "Hey, man, don't gotta get violent." "What the hell? Are you some type of freak or something? That shit ain't funny, man. How'd you know I was thinking that?" Edward says something and they go running scared. I giggle slightly, wondering what he said. And then I thought; the man said "how'd you know I was thinking that?" even though it wasn't much, it stuck with me for some reason.

Edward's POV

'My Jacob hates me.' I can't believe this. I come in and he and all his friends immediately start getting tense and holding their noses. I hate the smell, too. But I stop breathing. I expect it from his friends, but from him?

"Hey, Edward." But he's still covering his nose and mouth. That hurts.

"Hey, love. How are you feeling?" Before he can answer, the largest of the pack stands up from the floor of the too small room.

"Don't call him that. He broke up with you. This is the last time you'll be able to see him, and it's just so you know he's fine. And he knows you two are done. You're lucky we're even letting you on our lands. Had we known you've been coming here so much, you would be long dead. You've broken the treaty."

"I know. And I'm sorry. But I had to see him. I couldn't not see him. And thank you. But didn't Billy tell you?"

"No. He didn't. He claimed he never knew; that you snuck in when he wasn't paying attention." I silently thank him for doing that. Even though I know he did it more for Jacob's happiness than mine. But still.

"Edward, we can't be together."

"I know. I'm glad you're okay."

"Yeah. I'm still sore and everything, but I'll get better. You'd better leave, now, though."

"Okay. I will." Suddenly, Bella passed my mind. I wonder if she was okay. I try once again to see inside her mind; with no avail.

"Edward."

"Yes?"

"N-n-never talk to me again. Never see me again. Never break the treaty again. We're completely and utterly through. Today is the absolute last time." I could see the pain and strife in his eyes, but he undeniably meant it. It hurts to my very core, to where my soul would, and should, be. But I know it's true. This would be the last. I can't see him again. It's over.

"Okay." No emotion. Dead eyes. No breathing. I turned and walked away. I decide to drive to Port Angeles. Protective instincts kick in out of nowhere. I worry if Bella is okay. For some reason, she devours my mind like no one had. Not anyone. Not even Jacob. It frightens me. I once again think of her soft, long hair. Her soft curves, her brown eyes, like chocolate in her heart-shaped face. Her pale, frail skin under mine. I think of kissing her neck, feeling her pulse under my lips. I think of her lips on mine, her hair in my face, her sweet, addictive scent. Listening to Chopin, and suddenly another melody comes to mind. One much lighter than nocturne overture 8, simpler. I turn the radio off. Listening to the melody in my head, letting it become a full song, adding an orchestra. The piano alone sounds much better. And Bella still comes to mind. A full fantasy. Her pale, pink lips; I can imagine her taste. In my mind I run my tongue on them, on her neck, her jaw, her full, beautiful breast. I hardly feel the pain of losing Jacob. That scares me. Her scent is crippling at best, her mind is frustrating, infuriating in its silence. And still, thinking of her calms me. It sooths the beast that her smell entices. Driving around Port Angeles; still fantasizing about the human that seemed to fill the void I'd had in my heart for 91 years. Driving around, I see her truck; seemingly abandoned. I immediately start panicking, and driving around frantically on all the main streets. 'What if they dragged her off a main street?' suddenly I see her in someone's mind, and the way she went from what street. I follow her in that manor until just past dark.

~just past dark~

I hear thoughts. I see her face. A group of guys. One promises the others he'll give them all a good Friday if they follow his lead. They're half drunk and don't want to go home. The thoughts in his mind are sickening, the thoughts in theirs not much better. I'll kill them. I haven't fed since Jacob had turned. I couldn't. I was too worried. But now I have my appetite back. And the monster in me rages, wanting them dead just for their thoughts and intents. I finally find the alley. I call Alice and tell her to take Bella's car home. She tells me okay. Then calls five minutes later to tell me the deed is done.

The damned girl! She was just walking down side streets, completely vulnerable! With her stupid self she would get into this situation. What if I wasn't keeping an eye on her? She would have been raped! 'This girl makes me want to scream! She's clumsy! And stupid! And beautiful… the thought racked my mind. I thought of the aspects that made her beautiful all the time, but this is the first time I ever thought it so bluntly. She _is_ beautiful, which made this situation all the more dangerous. They'd never think twice about raping her, having their sick way with her. I growl. I ram on the brakes as I slam into the alley way. They immediately back up. I get the door. It's so difficult to act at a human speed; to not kill them. Bella looks relieved and surprised.

"Isabella, get in." she complies, thank god.

"Hey man, watch where you're going. You don't want to cross us."

"Do whatever you want but _stay away from her_." I keep my voice low, and keep a firm hold on the beast inside of me.

"Sorry man, I didn't know she's taken."

"I don't care what you did or didn't know." I'm starting to lose my resolve.

"Hey, man, we're just trying to have a fun Friday night, okay?"

"No. not okay. Watch who you're dealing with or you'll find yourself without a head." "Hey, man, don't gotta get violent."

"If you ever think about doing body shots off of her tied up body again I'll kill you with my bare hands."

"What the hell? Are you some type of freak or something? That shit ain't funny, man. How'd you know I was thinking that?"

"Because I'm the damned devil. Are you happy, now? Get the fuck out of my sight before I gut you like a fish." They run. Of course. I'm still seething, and I'm hard pressed not to run after them and drink every last drop of life they have from their worthless, perverted bodies. I get in the car and slam the door. Then turn around and start driving.

"Talk to me. Say anything. I want to go back there and kill them one by one." I'm shaking.

"Um…you should put on your seat belt." I have to chuckle at that.

"You should put on your seat belt."

"What I meant is… how'd you know where I was?"

"I worry about you. You bring out some protective instinct in me."

"That doesn't really answer my question."

"I wanted to make sure you were okay. I'm glad I did."

"So, wait. You were following me!?"

"Out of your own protection. When I saw your truck and you were nowhere near it… it scared me. And then I heard what those low lives were thinking."

"Wait, you _heard what they were thinking_?"

"Yes. I can read everyone's minds. Apart from yours."

"So what, is something wrong with me?" I laugh. I'm still pissed off and ready for murder but she's quickly calming me down.

"I tell you I'm a vampire, you freak out about my boyfriend. I tell you I read minds and you think something's wrong with you. Maybe there is something wrong with you. Just not what you think." We're laughing. She looks down and blushes. That long, straight hair falling around her. It makes me want to touch her. To hug her. I look over at her and find myself unable to look away. Suddenly the melody from earlier jumps into my head. And I think of her sleeping in my arms. I wonder what she would look like sleeping. What would she wear?

"Hey, look at the road!" she suddenly catches me looking at her.

"It's fine." I'm still looking at her. I catch every inch of her slender frame, her forehead too wide; still beautiful. Her jutting jaw and pointed chin. She's far from conventional beauty, but she's still like an angel to me.

"Seriously, that makes me nervous. You may be able to walk away if we crash into something, but I wouldn't."

"I wouldn't let that happen to you."

"Please?" I sigh. She's so cautious. But then, I guess she has to be with how clumsy she is.

"Fine." I turn my head to the road, but focus on my peripheral vision at her. "I told Alice to put your truck home."

"How'd she get in?"

"She didn't do anything illegal. Your father thinks you're out with me, which you are. He'll question you when you get home, so be ready."

"Oh, um…okay, then. I guess thanks."

"I think you need to eat something."

"I'm fine, really."

"Humor me."

"Um…okay." I drive her to a restaurant. The first one I see. I realize I know nothing about her. I hate that. I have to find out more. I go to the restaurant, and we talk. About me. I don't want to tell her about me. I don't want to have her run out on me. 'If she was going to run, scared, she would have done it already.' So at the restaurant I ask for the most secluded place they have. And I tell her. I tell her of dying of Spanish influenza when Carlisle found me. I explained, in as much detail as I would risk, of the actual transformation. I tell her of my life with the coven to the north. On the drive home I tell her of the long years with my entire family having someone to hold, and me having nothing. I tell her how I didn't realize how much it had hurt, until I met Jacob.

"He's just the type of person that makes you want to smile, no matter how bad you feel. And he's caring. He's a good guy."

"Yeah, he is." We're at her house. I suddenly feel wrenched to know that she'll be away from me for the night. "Thanks. For everything."

"Yeah. Um…do me a favor and try not to end up in the emergency room anytime soon?"

She blushes, looks down, laughs a little, and then looks me right in the eye. "Why not? Then I can meet your dad." I didn't expect that. My face must show it, because she laughs. "I'll try not to be clumsy."

"Thanks. Sleep well."

"Thanks, you too."

"Oh, I don't, um, I don't sleep."

"What, like ever?"

"Not at all."

"So, what do you do all night?"

"Usually I would watch Jacob sleep. Or walk around the forest. Or just…listen to music and think."

"Think about what?" she takes her hand off the door. The light comes on and her father steps outside.

"Bells? You there?"

"Oh, I guess I'll find out some other time, maybe." Then she gets out the car. "Yeah, dad. Edward and I just met up in Port Angeles."

"His sister came with the car, said you gave her the key. She towed with his brother's car, though. She said she gave it to Edward to give back to you? I don't know the logic of it all. But as long as she didn't steal it…" he leaves the sentence hanging.

"Oh, yeah. I gave her the key so I wouldn't have to drive it back, and she towed it to save it gas. She gave Edward the keys before he came to pick me up from this CD store I was at. I have it now." She's not a great liar, but she didn't miss a beat, and Charlie looks too tired to argue.

"Okay, then. I just wanted to make sure everything's okay. I'm going to bed." He walks into the house, closing the front door. I listen to his heartbeat as it works its way up the stairs to his bedroom. He immediately falls asleep. I get out of the car. I walk over to her. I don't feel like I need to hide myself so I don't go at human speed. She turns around to close the door and is shocked to see me there behind her. I take her in my arms and hold her. That melody replaying in my head, yet again. I'll have to play it for her one day. I can see me playing it while she sleeps. Suddenly I know the name of it. Her lullaby. Just that: Bella's Lullaby. It's perfect. Like her.

She looks at me, waiting to see what I'll do. I tell her the one thing I didn't the entire time I was explaining myself to her:

"Even if Jacob had not turned into a werewolf I would have left him, if only to be with you." I look at her. Her eyes are wide, surprised, and gorgeous. "Isabella Swan, I love you." And I kiss her. I finally feel her soft lips on mine, once again. Her hands are around my neck. My arms are around her waist and I pull her closer to me. She's molded against my body, heat springs in my loins. I wonder where this has come from. I was physically attracted to Jacob, but it was nothing like this. Mostly the sex we had was because it made him happy, and I liked to see him happy.

Bella's POV

"Even if Jacob had not turned into a werewolf I would have left him, if only to be with you." That surprises me. Then he kisses me. I put my hands around his neck, pulling him closer to me. His hands are at my waist. The kiss is deep and passionate. My stomach flips. This is what I have been waiting for. Our eyes are closed, and I breathe in his scent, hypnotized by it.

"Bella? Edward? What the _fuck_ is going on?" I know that voice.

"Jacob!?" Edward immediately lets me go and turns around.

"Jacob, what are you doing here?" Edward is shocked, and more than a little guilty.

"I'm feeling much better, and I wanted to come see if Bella wanted to hang out. Just forget it." He walks away. I feel horrible.

"Jacob! Wait!" I run after him. We just made up; I don't want to lose my first real friend here so quickly.

"I'm supposed to protect you from him? You seem to being doing a fine job! Distraction, perfect!" he runs off, shaking horribly. Suddenly he seems to…poof out. There's no other way to describe it. In his place is a huge wolf, about the size of a full grown horse. He's a rusty, brown color. In the moonlight, with water glistening in his fur, he's beautiful. I can't believe he's changed in the middle of the street. He turns and runs off. I notice what seem to be strips of shoes and clothes around and I wonder where they came from; I'm sure they weren't there before Jacob got there…

Jacob's POV

"You have to do it. You have to make sure he never talks to you again. That he never talks to you again."

"I know! I know. I will." 'I hope' I try once again to sit up, and once again Sam's gaze forces me back in the bed. I hear the roar of Bella's truck.

"And you will _not_ tell Bella anything about what happened to you, got it? That's an order."

"Yes, I understand." After a few minutes she comes in. I want to talk to her alone, but it seems like my pack has different ideas. I try to placate Sam. Then we stare off. He's forced to look away. He walks out and they all follow, just like good little puppies.

"H-how are you feeling?" she seems sorry enough for last week. I'm over it. Time to move on with everything.

"Like shit. Do you know what happened to me?"

"No." she's _so_ talkative today.

"Good. I'm not supposed to tell. Scratch that; I can't tell." Sam would kill me. He made that quite clear.

"Well your dad told me some of the old legends."

"Good."

"I know he's a vampire. Edward, I mean. Not your dad. And I know you're descended from wolves. And that I should stay with the 'pale faces'." She rolls her eyes.

"Do you know the rest of the legend?"

"No. But apparently you're my protector." I like the sound of that. I try to keep from blushing.

"Well you better start sucking up if your life is in my hands." I'm trying to keep the mood light, so she knows I'm not mad.

"Look, I'm usually not a malicious person or anything. I don't know what came over me. I don't dislike you because you're gay-"

"I'm not gay." I have to interrupt. "I like girls. I like…you." Did I just say that? "But for some reason I can't help but love Edward. Well, I couldn't. But now…I wish I could tell you what's happening to me." My words apparently shock her. I hope she can look in my eyes and know that everything, everything I said was true.

"Well what happened when you freaked out?"

"That's the part I can't tell!" it frustrates me that I can't tell. It's not like she's going to go streaking through the town screaming bloody murder to the stars or something. I imagine the streaking part…

"Okay, calm down. Don't give yourself an aneurism." Why am I thinking about her when she's right here? Oh, right; she can't read minds like Edward. That actually comes as a relief.

I laugh at my stupid self. "Okay, I broke out in a sweat, I'm over 100 degrees" she touches my head.

"I grew like shit. And I feel like…a dog now."

"A dog? You feel like…that's some kind of hint, right?"

"Yeah. Come on, think. My father just told you the stories. Well. They're true. All of them."

"You're a…"

"Come on, Bells, think of it. The old legends, I feel like a dog. I'm pretty sure you can fit the puzzle in place." I'm not quite so sure. She's started biting her non-existent nails trying to think. I hear growling from the other room. Obviously _somebody_ doesn't like me assisting her in figuring out what I am.

"You're a…a…werewolf." She looks pleased with herself.

"We've got a winner." I can't help but laugh. "It took you long enough. I mean, I'm not getting any older, but you sure are." I laugh again. Her face is startled.

"What do you mean you're not getting any older? You don't age?"

"No, but what I lose in age I make up for in hunger." Someone laughs outside.

"All teenaged boys eat their weight, why should you be any different?" yeah, she and I are okay. It's good to know that.

"Yeah, well I eat my wolf's weight in gold, so try that on for size!"

"You're lucky I'm a vegetarian or I'd skin you alive right now. I might do it anyway."

"And your dad will have to arrest you for aggravated assault."

"More like animal cruelty."

"Oh, so I'm an animal now?"

"Yeah, I want me a big wolf pelt to keep out the snow in the winter."

"Whatever. I'll eat you in a second."

"Try me." It's fun messing around with her. And a huge relief to know she's okay with it. I would have hated trying to always hide from her. I sit up suddenly and grab her and she laughs. Then the pain sets in and I groan and lay back down.

"Told you that you couldn't eat me." She laughs and sticks her tongue out at me. "But I'm glad we're okay again. You're my first real friend at forks." She admits.

"Well as long as we agree never to fight over a guy again." I'm completely joking, and even give her a wink to let her know.

"Promise. Now, we may fight over another girl, but that's completely different." She never misses a beat when we joke. We're gonna get along just fine, I think.

"Hey, I'mma go. There's this CD store I wanna head to in Port Angeles and I don't know when it closes, okay? Or do you wanna try eating me again?"

"Nah, you're too fleshy. I like some meat when I eat." I realize her laugh seems to brighten the tiny room up.

"Yeah, you need some meat on those bones."

"You should see me in wolf form."

"Yeah, then I can get that pelt."

"Maybe I'll even let you ride on my back."

"You're not that big… are you?"

"Yup. And word is I'll get even bigger."

"You're crazy. I'mma go." She kisses me on the cheek. "Feel better." I'm blushing. I hope she doesn't notice.

"Yeah. Thanks. I'll try to."

"And don't eat unsuspecting humans." If she noticed my blush, she didn't say anything.

"You just ruined my entire month." She sticks her tongue out at me.

~later that night~

"Dad, I'm feeling much better."

"You don't know if you'll be able to control it."

"I'll try as hard as I can, and Sam is in wolf form so even if I do transform or something he'll know. Dad, I haven't been out in over a week. Can I just go hang out with Bella?"

"You're just going to forks to hang out with Bella?"

"Yes. Please, can I go now?"

"Put a shirt on so people don't look at you weird."

"Thank you!" I put my shirt on and rush out the house. I run to Bella's house, and see a sight I never thought I'd see again. And I hear something I never thought I'd hear at all.

"Even if Jacob had not turned into a werewolf I would have left him, if only to be with you. Isabella Swan, I love you."

"Bella? Edward? What the _fuck_ is going on?" I thought he loved me. It hurt to have to tell him to never speak to me again. To never see me again. Only Bella made me forget that, and now it is like she'd brought a wrecking ball down on my head.

"Jacob!?" Isn't she shocked to see me here?

"Jacob, what are you doing here?" Edward is shocked, and more than a little guilty. At least that's what shows on his face. I know he can control how is outward emotions are.

"I'm feeling much better, and I wanted to come see if Bella wanted to hang out. Just forget it." I'll never be able to forget it.

"Jacob! Wait!" Bella has the audacity to run after me like she's sorry. She practically threw herself at him. But he made the first move. She was going to walk away and everything would have been fine, but he kissed her. And she let him.

"I'm supposed to protect you from him? You seem to being doing a fine job! Distraction, perfect!" I'm shaking so hard, I know what's about to happen. It's inevitable, really. I'm pissed off, I'm hurt, I'm still learning to control my emotions and how they trigger my transformations. I guess this is what diabetics go through, constantly having to be aware of their blood sugar, making sure it doesn't get too low or too high. I don't care anymore. I just want the pain to be done. I decide that it's much better to just be a wolf forever. Just leave any pain behind. I let myself transform, feel my clothes ripping off my body. I run into the night.

**We told you this would happen.**

**Shut up. I know. It's all my fault for letting it happen.**

**No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just telling you so that next time you **_**trust**_** me when I tell you something. I only have the pack's best interest in mind, and you should, too.**

**You know, you always hear of those lone wolves, and right now I'm starting to think that sounds pretty good.**

Another voice, Paul of all people.

**That's not the way to go, dude. It hurts, yeah, but it's gonna get better. Just give it time to maul over. You're supposed to protect Bella from Edward, emotions aren't involved. My temper may be a bit high, but I've always kept that in mind. Come on, come home and we'll do what we can to fix this, okay?**

**No! Just leave me alone. I don't want to be human again; I'm not going to transform back. I'd prefer it like this.**

**Dude, this is stupid!**

**Let him go.**

**But Sam-**

**Let him go! **

His voice is double layered with the Alpha. Paul doesn't stand a chance.

**Fine. **And he transforms back into a human.

**When you feel like talking again, or when you want to come home, we'll be here. I'll tell your dad where you are. Just please, come back. And take care of yourself.**

**Whatever. Just go away.** And he does. And I am alone. Like it should be. That's what's safe for me. No Edward, no Bella, no pack, no nothing. Not even school.

Just me.

Sorry for the bad ending. The chapter was getting freakishly long (like my hair after a couple of months of me not cutting it-_x) and i just wanted it to end. So read and review!!!!!!!


	7. Just Me

_**A/N: are you ready for this??? Hold on to your seats, grab a box of tissues and your favourite stuffed animal, cuz you're in for a big one. It's sad. That's a warning, btw. It's heart-wrenching! You're going to hate me then love me then want me dead! You'll be begging for another chapter! So enjoy! **_

_**I love being melodramatic!!!!! This chapter shows why it's rated M (does anyone even read the ratings???) SEX! SEX! SEX!**_

Jacob's POV

For months I am in wolf form. I didn't want to change, and I find that it's as natural to me as being human; moreso at times. I eat when I'm hungry. I run when I feel like running. There are no voices of the pack to tell me what to do and what not to do. There is no way of knowing time, except time to eat, time to sleep; when I'm thirsty I drink. It's bliss. I run up to Canada. I stay in woods, so I can't get too far away from Forks. It's not far enough. The thing that makes me change back is my dad. Though I know he's taken care of, I also know he's worried about me and misses me. I decide to slip back in the middle of the night; in human form. I wonder how I'm going to get clothes. As I think I start to think of my sisters and if they heard I ran away. And if so, what they're thinking. Or what they were told. I love my sisters, though they got on my nerves most the time we lived together. Suddenly I have the perfect idea on how to get clothes. If I wait until night in a rural area, I should be able to steal at least something off a clothes line. Then I go to a homeless shelter, or a church, and get something quick to eat, and from there, go back home, slip into my house, let my dad know I'm okay, tell him I'm not coming back, say a proper goodbye, and go off on my merry way again. It's perfect. So I scope out a house. It's perfect. They have a boy about Edward's age; the name twists my gut, and my size. I wait until I see all the lights go off. Then I wait another hour to make sure everyone's fast asleep. I don't feel that great about stealing, but it's going to a good cause: me seeing my father one last time. Maybe I'll even see Bella when she's sleeping. 'No. She doesn't deserve it. It'll just make me hate her even more, anyway.' So I decide not to. I know I can't sneak in on Edward. 'I don't want to see him, anyway.' I tell myself. 'He betrayed me. Same as Bella. They betrayed me with each other and they don't even care. But what if they do? Should I give them a chance to explain? But what if I find them together? I'll have my heart broken again. But I want to see them. I really want to see Edward; I miss him so much.' I miss the feel of his hair in my hands, his hands in my hair; his lips on mine. I think about the last time he and I had sex. I told him I love him. He told me he loves me. Does he still mean it? Did he ever? These thoughts carry me for another half hour. By the time I come out of my reverie I realize it's been almost two hours since all the lights had gone off, and I hadn't heard a sound since. I creep and see bliss: they left some clothes on the clothes line. It's good to have old fashion people. I try not to take too much, so they don't notice it'll be missing. Even if they do, they won't be able to trace it back to me. By the time they even realize it's gone, I'll be halfway back to America. I run faster as a wolf, but my human speed will work just fine for now. Once I get back to Forks I'll have to be immensely careful so as not to be recognized by anyone. My hair got scruffy, and I started getting hints of a beard, which I didn't notice until I transformed back into a human. Most likely nobody but the guys in the pack would notice me, but that'd be enough. They'd get the council on their side and put me on house arrest until they were sure I wouldn't run off again. I'd run off anyway. One transformation into a wolf would break the electronic anklet or bracelet or whatever and I'd be off again. But then I'd never be able to return. And though at the moment I don't ever want to set foot in there again, I may later regret my decision. Maybe I'll see Bella. I brighten at the thought. All I have on is boxers (sweet, cotton boxers!) and a pair of basketball shorts. They aren't a perfect fit, but they'll do. Next I start to run. I start off at a steady jog, still a bit unsure of myself walking as a human. I don't want to start running immediately and fall and twist something. Though I heal, it would still hurt. And that's what I want to avoid: pain. 'That may just be what I'm walking into.' And it just may be. But if I'm careful, and play my cards right, I can at least see my dad if he's not awake. But somehow I know he is. I know he hasn't slept well in months, waiting for me to return. Waiting to see his son walk in the door, or climb in the window. I wonder if he checks my bedroom every day to see if I'm sleeping, and it was all a bad dream. I know he worries about me, but at the same time I wonder if he knows I won't run away for good. I wonder what he told the council. I know when I see him he'll cry, even if it's not right away, even if I don't see it. I'm his only son. When I was little I used to sneak out just to go cliff diving. At five years old I was constantly brought in at three in the morning by police, or members of the council, dripping wet, and my dad would tell me not to do it again. He was never worried something had happened to me. Once I asked why I never got in trouble, and his answer made him so much closer than anything he'd ever done, or anything I'd ever said.

"Because you, son, are a son of Taha Aki, and you are a born wolf. I trust that you never run away from a problem because you are scared or hurt. I trust that if you run, it is to gather your strength and return to solve the problem that made you run in the first place. I need to tell you something, and now is as good a time as any. I won't be on this earth forever. One day my spirit will join the Tsikáti in the sky. And when that time comes you will be the leader of the pack. You will be the Alpha. This is your home. Never forget that. Even if one day you leave and never return, keep this place in your heart. And if you ever need something; support, a family, love, anything, return here, and it will be waiting for you, even if I am gone, even if your sisters are not here. We are a family, every Quileute is part of one family, and we will speak as such, and treat one another as such. I do not punish you because you are learning to be on your own. And one day they will stop bringing you home, and then you will learn to come home when you are lonely, or when you are done with your independence."

That makes up my mind. I'm going to see Bella… and Edward. The name still tears at my chest like a thousand knives, but I know it will all get better in time.

And everything he said was true. By the time I was seven they would see me cliff diving and leave me. And I would always return home before sunrise. And there were times when I would fight with my sisters and run away into the forest; into this certain tree that I always loved. It had been hit by lightning, the only one in the entire forest to be hit and stay standing. It had been raining so hard that the flames were doused immediately. Even though it was still standing, it was long dead. But the fact that it was dead and still standing always captivated me. The bark was hard. I could climb on it, I often did. One side of the trunk was almost horizontal, and I'd sometimes climbed up and lay on the inside hollow, and looked up at the clouds, or feel the rain on my face and just enjoy the scent of the burnt wood and the rain and nature. Or there were times when I would climb as far up as the limb could support my weight. On that half of the trunk, the inside was full of nooks and bumps that acted as hand and foot-holds. I would climb as far as I could and inch my way to the other side of the trunk and sit on a branch. Many birds would come and flock on me, though not at the same time. They had no problem with me stroking them. I often wondered if many of the stories were true, if maybe I was a wolf. I could climb like one, I could run like one, and I loved nature like one; but when I was nine that changed. I had an argument with my father. He told me I needed to stop skipping school, and not to act like a child anymore. I told him I hated him and ran into the forest, straight toward my tree. But the tree next to it had been hit by lightning, and the fire had spread to my tree. The rain was light enough to let it burn to a tall stump, but heavy enough to douse the flames before it spread beyond the two trees. I felt like a part of my soul had died. I went into my room and cried, refusing to eat, or come out. My father eventually came in and asked me why I was crying. When I told him, he gave me more information.

"That, son, is the way of life. Things live and things die. And sometimes that hurts us. But some things live long after they die. And eventually that, too, fades. But if you hold it in your heart, it lives on forever. You have learned a valuable lesson, today, and have come even closer to being the man you were meant to be. Now, I have a whole three rib slacks, and I think I'm only going to eat one."

As I think about it, I realize my father's always been here for me. And he's always given me advice. I think of where I would be without him, and I know it would not be a good place. He covered for Edward, though he hated him. Just because he knew how happy Edward made me. I love my father, though I never say it out loud. And he never says it to me. We aren't very affectionate people. Our love is expressed through actions of respect. As I get more sure on my feet I run.

Faster…

And faster…

Until I'm at my limit, and I'm sweating bullets. It feels good to run. It feels more like a wolf to me than walking; than anything. By sunrise I'm in America. I stop in a forest, take off my clothes, get into wolf form, and lay down for a nap. Sleep is much more refreshing in wolf form. I take time to hunt, and decide to run with my clothes in my mouth for a while. Careful not to rip them or get them too slobbery, I take off at a run. I see a pack of wolves and stay away. They follow me, and I decide to let them. It's not like they'll hurt me. And they most likely won't follow me all the way to Forks. They follow me for another ten miles or so, and then follow the alpha of their pack off east. I keep heading south, and then start angling toward the west more. By nightfall I'm a few miles from home. 'Home' the word rings familiar. I suddenly start getting these worried thoughts about my father. 'Relax, Jacob Black. It's only from being away from him for so long.' I try to convince myself to no avail. I know something's wrong. I feel it in my soul. In my heart. I run faster than I've ever run, suddenly desperate to get home as soon as possible. I don't wait until nightfall. I don't try to sneak in, though I know I could have. As soon as I'm within a mile I turn back into a human, and put my clothes on, then I sprint straight for home. I know something's wrong, and I have to find out what it is. I'm sweating like crazy, I'm tired as hell, and I'm hungry again, having only hunted a deer then running at breakneck speeds through the forest. But I don't stop. I can't. I feel like if I get there in time, maybe I can stop whatever bad thing it is that I know is going to happen. I tell myself this over and over, going faster and faster. Faster than I ever have. Faster than I thought possible. Faster than the wind, it feels like. I'm in human form, but I'm running as fast as I would if I were a wolf right now. And then I see it: the first couple of houses. I don't stop. I go straight home.

_"This is your home. Never forget that." _His words ring like bells in my ears. I could never forget that. That's where he is. Then something else pops in my head. Something I don't want to hear at this moment. _"I won't be on this earth forever. One day my spirit will join the __Tsikáti__ in the sky."_ I know this is the time. _"When that time comes, you will be the alpha."_ I don't want to be the alpha. I want to see him, and tell him I love him, and tell him goodbye, and then go and let someone else do the jobs. _"You are a son of Taha Aki, a born wolf…things live and things die. And sometimes those things hurt us. But if you hold it in your heart, it will live forever." _I know that's what is happening. It's time to stop running away. I've gathered my strength, now I've got to take on the things that made me run. I can't be with Edward. But I can be with Bella. I thought of her increasingly, even though my feelings for Edward were always strong. I told her I like her, and she accepted it. I have to confront her. I realize that I want her. And not just in a sexual sense. I want the type of person she is. Strong, smart, and happy. I want to make her smile. I want to hold her if she ever needs it. I know she'd hold me if I need it. I finally, _finally_ get home. And I don't like what I see. Charlie's cruiser. No truck. I see a few people going inside the house. Even though it seems normal, there is sadness all over the place; I can feel it. I can _sense_ it. I run into the house, burst in. I don't stop until I'm met by the wall of eyes. Eyes with tears in them. They look at me. And Sam is there. And Bella is there. She comes up to me and hugs my waist, and I know what's happened immediately. He's gone. He's died. And I never got to tell him goodbye. I never got to tell him I love him. I never got to tell him how much he meant to me. I try not to cry. I try to be the man I became at thirteen years old, when I had the spirit quest. When my father told me of our tribe's stories in full detail. And I listened. My revelation had been simple. I hadn't even understood it at the time. Now I did. The revelation was _when you grieve even your enemies are your friends. _I didn't think I'd ever let an enemy be a friend. Especially when I was sad. But here is Bella, which I had proclaimed my enemy and ran away from, hugging me. Letting me know she's here. I couldn't do anything to stop the flow of tears. I crumpled in on myself. I couldn't hold myself up. My sisters run to me, pushed Bella off me, and held me. My sobs were loud, unceremonious. And nobody cares. Nobody think that I'm not a man. Just a man who lost his father without ever saying goodbye. Nobody asks me where I had been, or how I'd known. Nobody gets mad. I'm done with being independent, and I had come back home. I grab my sisters' backs and hold them close, sitting against the cabinets and crying to the heavens. I start to shake furiously. I'm shaking with anger at myself for being gone so long. I'm shaking with grieve. At first my sisters are alarmed, knowing what could happen, but I know I am in control. I have to be. If I lose control now I will never gain it back. And I will never be the man that my father wanted me to be. The man I am supposed to be. I grab each of my sisters in one of my arms, both of them have their head on one of my shoulders. They each hold my waist, Rebecca has one hand in the back of my head, stroking my hair. I feel no better than I did when I'd burst in. I know the one person that could make it even the least bit better.

"Bella. Bella, come here." I can barely choke out the words. But she understands. And she sits on my lap and holds my neck. And puts her head on my chest over my heart. I let go of my sisters and hold her close to me. Closer than I did my sisters. And suddenly the exhaustion sets in. the hunger. The stress of running for twenty hours straight. I should have dropped dead by now. Only adrenaline from fear of losing my father had kept me going, and it's quickly dying out. I need water, food, sleep… And to see him. I can't believe it until I see it.

"I need to see the body."

"Okay. We'll take you to the burial site." Old Quil Atera. The father of my best friend. A good man. "Are you…staying? Or are you going to run off again?" there isn't any spite in his voice. No sarcasm, nothing. He was curious.

"My father is-was the tribe chief. He said when he passed it would be my responsibility. I wouldn't disgrace him by leaving knowing what my purpose here is. I'm staying." My own voice is dead. It has no emotion. Nobody protests. Nobody says anything more about me leaving, or how I knew to come back. I'm still holding Bella tightly.

"If you want, you can get emancipated. Or you can live with us until you're eighteen. It's your choice." Sam suddenly says.

"I don't know right now. I'll think of everything later. Right now I need sleep. And food."

"You can sleep here for the night, if you want. Tomorrow you'll go to the burial site, and we'll have the ceremony." The ceremony; we go to A-Ka-Lat, the burial site for chiefs of our tribe. As his eldest son I'll have to stay on his grave, unmoving for twenty four hours. I won't be allowed to neither eat nor drink during that time. I'm also unallowed to talk. I decide to sleep first; the old superstition that eating before you sleep gives you bad dreams seems all too real to me now. I go to stand up, still clutching Bella like a security blanket. She doesn't say anything, and she doesn't let go. Charlie sees us, and tells Bella to call him when she wants to get picked up. I silently thank him.

"We need to talk, but it can wait until you're ready."

I nod. I don't know if I'd be able to make it through the night without someone to hold. I look at my sisters, expecting to see hurt on their faces, but I see understanding. They understand. Bella and I go into my roo and lay down on the too small bed. I cry myself to sleep in her arms. I let myself dream of my prince.

It's dark outside, so I assume I've been asleep for a few hours. I see Bella next to me, out arms are around each other still, her head on my chest. I feel peaceful for a moment, then I realize why I'm home and why she's here. Then I cry again. I feel like a little kid. I haven't cried like this since my tree burned down. I try to be quiet, so I don't wake Bella, but my sobs are uncontrollable and shaking. I don't want to let her go; I can't let her go. She wakes up and holds me even closer. I'm shaking and I don't know if I'll lose control. I fear for Bella's life; I've seen Emily, and know that Sam caused that scar on her face by complete accident. I know: I can't bring myself to let her go.

"Relax, Jake. You need to relax."

"I don't know how!"

"Is there anything I can do? Anything?" I'm shaking even worse. It's getting hard to think. But I think of something. It comes to me, and I can't think of anything else.

"K-kiss me," she's startled, of course.

"Jake…" she looks at me. I'm not crying anymore, just shaking. I'm trying to gain some sort of control, but I feel my shape shifting. I guess she can see it to, because…

Bella's POV

I kiss him. I see his shape shifting, and I can't think of anything else to do. I'd let him change, but I don't want him to run off again, and he won't let me go, anyway. It's nothing passionate. But he deepens the kiss, and I can do nothing but let him. his shaking grdually, slowly, lessens, but it's still there. He pulls out of the kiss. He seems in control, now.

"How long have I been asleep?" I'm still in his arms

"Two days," he doesn't seem too surprised.

"I knew I felt too good when I woke up. Have you been here the entire time?" his voice sounds suddenly weak and fragile.

"Yeah," his facial expressions show the gratitude he doesn't voice.

"Let's get something to eat. I'm hungry."

"I look at him. he looks gragile, and I want to hold him. but he's right, we need to eat. I don't know when the last time he had a proper meal was. He gets up, letting go of me for the first time in two days. I get up as well and walk around the bed. He absentmindedly holds my hand and we walk around to his kitchen.

"You can sit down. I'll get us something to eat." I comply, and he walks to the fridge. I watch him closely, afraid he's going to break down again. I wonder how he knew something was wrong. Maybe it was a coincidence. _It was no coincidence. He burst in here. He wouldn't've been running like that if he didn't know something was wrong._ He successfully makes us sandwiches, and refuses the multiple offers of help from me. He pours us some juice, and pulls a chair up next to me. As we eat, I hear something I didn't expect to hear from him.

"I want to go see Edward. You, him, and I need to talk." He says it so casually it startles me. I actually stop and look at him. "I want to go alone. And then you and I will talk."

"Why don't we just talk now?"

"Okay, let's talk. You and my boyfriend kissed." He takes a bite of his sandwich, awaiting my response.

"Yeah… we did." I suddenly don't feel like talking. "Honestly, I don't know what came over me. I'm not like that. At all."

"And you freaked out at me,"

"Again, I really don't know what came over me. I'm sorry for everything. I really wish you didn't run off; everyone was worried about you. Edward wouldn't talk to me, except to ask about you. Then he heard billy died… he wanted to find you. But he's a horrible tracker."

"Edward was… worried about me?" I guess he wasn't expecting edward to care. "But he said he loved you. He said he would've left me…"

"I don't know why he said that. But I don't want edward to come between us." I don't. I realized that he's my best friend, even though we got off to an extremely rocky start. "Don't leave again. Please."

"You heard me tell everyone I'm staying."

"I know, but… I feel like you were just saying it."

"I wasn't. I'm staying." That relieves me. We finish our sandwiches in silence. Then he gets in his dad's car.

"You know you're sixteen, right?"

"Really? I didn't realize my birthday had passed."

"Well, if you feel like it, after all this is over you and I can go celebrate. Just the two of us. If you want." He smiles. It's sad, and it's small, but it's a smile.

"I would love that. And I want to show you this place in the forest. It's where I used to go when I was a little kid." He seems on the brink of crying again. But this time it's not anything bad. Just… a sad memory, maybe. In the truck I hold his hand. He rubs it lightly. "I'm going to take you home. I'll call you when we all need to talk."

"Okay." We drive the rest of the way home in silence. Once we get there, he turns to me.

"Thank you for being there. I really needed you, even though I don't know why I did."

"I'll always be here for you. Always." I give him a smile. "Good luck with Edward. I hope things work out with you two. You really love each other; you belong together."

"Really? T-thanks." I don't think he was expecting that. He gives me another sad smile, and I get out.

Jacob's POV

I drive to edward's house. I realize I've never been to his house before, but Edward told me how to get there. After a couple of miles I wonder if maybe I missed a turn off somewhere. But I see him standing there, right at the turn off. His face is blank, and I take a deep breath. I turn and drive up to the house. I look up and out my window, and surely enough, there he is. I get out and he does something I totally don't expect. He kisses me. It's desperate, and passionate. His hands are all over me. all I can do is hold him close. I don't want to let go. I hate his smell, but I hardly think about it. He tongue slips in my mouth and I moan. He hasn't touched me in months. My prince; he's in my arms again. He picks me up and runs me up to his room. We're on the couch, and it's way too small; even smaller than my bed. Neither of us care.

"My love, I've worried so much about you. I love you. Don't go again. Never leave me again." He loves me. I'm elated. Despite everything that's happened in the past forty-eight hours, I'm truly content. He kisses me again. I pull him closer. He's wearing a button down shirt, and I get an idea. I quickly start unbuttoning the buttons on his shirt. I'm sure he knows exactly what I'm doing, and he lets me. I take of his shirt and kiss the part of his chest where his heart would be. He stiffens, like everytime before this. Then he takes off my shirt, and my pants. He takes his off as well, and we're making out on his couch in our boxers. He starts humping me, and I move our boxers, and suddenly those are off, too. I didn't realize how much I missed this until now. He turns me around, and slowly, antagonizingly slowly, he puts it in. all the way in. it feels so good I scream. I don't know if anyone is in the house, but I didn't see anyone. He reads my mind.

"No, we're home alone. I've got you all to myself." He's still in me, and I'm anticipating what he's going to do next. He chuckles lightly then pulls it out up to the head, even slower than he put it in.

"You're teasing me," I'm pouting, hoping he'll go faster. He only laughs in the beautiful voice I've missed so much.

"I know," and he slams his cock into me as far as he can. I scream out in pleasure. "I'm punishing you,"

"For what? What did I do?"

"You left me, love. I'm going to make sure _right now_ that you'll never leave me again."

"I'm not! I won't!"

"I know you won't." he's slamming me so hard I can't think straight I'm leaning over the couch, and he's leaning over me. My prince is holding me against him in a vice-like grip. I can't move. I wouldn't even if I could. His arms around my waist; his face pressed into my back, his cock in my ass, sliding in and out. I can't think; I can't breathe. This is bliss. His right hand slides down to my cock, and his left arm holds me even tighter. It's starting to hurt, but I can't breathe enough to tell him. But I'm thinking it, and he holds lighter. His right hand starts stroking my cock lightly. I can feel it enough that it drives me crazy, yet is intensely satisfying. After half an hour his humps have gotten more fervered, but his hand has only stroked a little harder, and is still insanely slow. I still can't talk. _Faster, move your hand faster_ but he doesn't. _I know you hear me! Why won't you go faster?_

"This is your punishment, and you don't make demands." His voice sounds cynical, and I realize this is driving him crazy, as well.

"when is it over?"

"You'll know." And his humping gets to that antagonizing slowness again.

"I'm sorry!" I'm moaning with pleasure and I'm slowly being driven insane by the god inside of me. "I won't leave again! I came over to-" he cuts me off

"I know exactly why you came over here. And we'll get to that. But before then, I'm going to make absolute sure you know that _you are mine_."

"I know I'm yours! Please! This is driving me insane!"

"That's the point. And right when you break…" he doesn't finish the sentence. I still can't quite think straight, so I don't know what he means. I suddenly get tight, and I realize that he's gotten larger suddenly, if only slightly. I realize what's happening, and I try to get out. For all my strength, I can't move enough. He suddenly strokes faster, but holds me lighter. I can hardly feel it, and I scream, trying not to let his cold hand get to me. He cums right before I do, and then the fun begins. That's the first time he's ever cum inside me; I'd never been quite comfortable with it. I understand now: he was claiming me by cumming inside me for the first time in three years.

"Your punishment is over. Now I have my way with you," his whispers is seductive, and I shudder in anticipation. This is not what I expected at all when I came over here. His hand, covered in my cum, is stroking harder and harder, until it's almost painful. He's slamming into me, pulling out to the bottom of the head, and slamming back into me.

I'm screaming his name with every thrust. The room smells like hot sex after only five minutes. He doesn't stop. He's not breathing, and I'm trying to. "Look at me," it's an order.

I turn my head and he smashes his lips into mine, he runs his tongue around my lips and slips it in, grazing it softly on mine.

I try to force him to caress my tongue and he pulls out of the kiss, and nibbles my ear. His teeth slide gently, oh so gently, over my skin, and his tongue slips into the outer edge of my earlobe. This is driving me a different kind of insane. Insane with pleasure. He continues like this over different parts of my body. My neck, my shoulder, my upper arms. He takes his hard, big cock out of me, and lays me down on my back on the couch.

I look at a clock for the first time in months; it's 3:46 a.m. He drags his cock up my body, up my neck, and up to my mouth. "Suck," another order. I've never seen him this aggressive. I suck, and he gives me a handjob while I give him a blowjob. His dick suddenly tightens, and I move to take him out of me, but he won't let me. I'm anxious, and he won't let me take him out. Why won't he let me take him out? He finally cums in my mouth and I think about swallowing it, but then I taste it… I love the taste. I roll it around in my mouth before swallowing it, and lick the head to get every drop.

"And that's why I wouldn't let you take me out." He knew I'd like it. We reverse roles, and I'm getting sucked off. Since he was always on top, he didn't suck me off much. But everytime he did, I was on cloud 9. This time is no different. After ten minutes I finally can't take it anymore. I'm about to cum. He tries to take me out, but I hold him. Though I know I'm not forcing him, not really, it feels good to know I made him stop.

"If I swallow yours, you swallow mine," I can barely breathe out the words. But he dutifully does. I release and he swallows. I know he's going to bring it up later, but I don't care. "Now you're mine. You'd better not leave me, Edward Cullen." Though I can barely breathe, my words come out strong. I mean them.

"Isn't it you who left me?" he looks at me. There's no joking in his eyes. I hurt him when I said that.

"Yes. I did. But I'm back. And I'm staying." The pleasure is over. Now it's time for us to talk. I wish he didn't have to end so abruptly.


	8. Facing the Devil

Jacob's POV

"I can't… I can't handle it. I can't control it. I'm just... attracted to her. I don't understand why."

"I want to be with you—"

"I want to be with you, too." He interrupts. I've kept myself carefully composed while he explained. But I couldn't really care about anything else other than the fact that he'd admitted to being in love with her.

"But," I continued, determined to keep my cool and say the points he'd already heard in my mind, only if to make it more real to myself. "I can't even look at you if I know I'm not the one for you. And I'm not. You belong with Bella. So… be with her. I have to look over my village and my people now.

"Jacob, please don't do this."

"It's already done. You and she are perfect for each other. And I'm not being facetious, she's the one challenge you ever had; the one scent you've never even imagined to lust. It's forbidden for us to be together, and I'm not interested in the Romeo and Juliet scenario."

He silently nods his head, understanding my meaning. "I love you, Jacob. And no matter what, you'll always hold a piece of my heart, as dead as it may be."

I smile sadly, "She brings it back to life for you,"

He nods again, "Yeah, she does. I could spend forever with her."

"You might,"

He shook his head furiously, "No! I won't turn her into… this. Into a monster like me. It won't happen; I won't let it."

I nod, "Don't leave her. Ever. She's already had one of us walk out on her; she shouldn't have to deal with it again,"

"I won't leave her if you don't leave us,"

I shake my head "I have to. I have to be alone from you two," I chuckle ironically "kinda like the 'lone wolf' deal, huh? You know that whole story? A wolf was betrayed by his pack, even though he was the alpha. Another wolf had challenged him. So he left. He never trusted another wolf again; so he never joined another pack. And thus was the lone wolf." I stray my eyes from him, knowing what he was thinking.

"I'm sorry we've betrayed me. I think we should all take a breath from each other. Give ourselves some time to think. Okay?"

"No. maybe you two need some time away from each other but my mind is made up. I'm done. It's illegal."

"But it's always been illegal! Jake, this isn't right. I don't want to end this with you out of my life."

"Yeah, well I've seen what it's like to be the thrown away third wheel. And it sucks." A wolf howled in the distance, signaling me. "I've gotta go. Bye."

He raised his hand. "Bye,"

I ran off, crying, tears streaking behind my eyes and into my fur. I howl, more out of sorrow than to let them know I'm on my way.

When I got back I found something horrible: the entire tribe together, chanting healing. I was scared to look, and when I did I almost fell back on my feet. Mira, a young girl only five years old had been bitten—by a wolf no less! The bandage was wrapped from her elbow down, and bloodied. It needed to be rewrapped, but everyone was too busy chanting. All the medical supplies were next to her still body. At first look she looked dead, her face pale, her body unmoving, and her eyes closed. But as I got closer to change the bandage, I saw the very miniscule movement of her body; she was breathing, if only nearly. Our tribe usually believes in modern meds but the elders don't, and neither does Mira, one of the elders' granddaughters who lives with him because her parents died in a car crash. So they chanted around her as I slid between them gently to change her bandage. She quietly opened her eyes and looked at me in fear.

"Am I going to die?"

"You might honey. But I'm going to be here." I held her eyes as I cleaned the wound and rewound new bandages around her. I stroked her hair, and watched as tears slid backwards into her hair. I hummed a children's song and held her hand, still stroking her hair, and thirty minutes later I saw her eyes grow wide, her take a gasping breath, and a very weak squeeze on my hand, and I held her eyes, smiling sadly as she let out the gasp, her hand loosening, her eyes losing their sparkle, and her head lolled to the side. The chant seamlessly changed to the chant of death, though all their eyes were closed. They knew she was dead though they hadn't seen it. I dropped her hand gently and went over to her grandfather, putting my hand on his shoulder as he cried. Usually he'd mourn at the grave, but she was to be cremated, her ashes thrown over the cliffs she'd look over, into the sea, where she'd be able to swim forever.

Edward's POV

"What do you mean I'm selfish? I chose you!" I wanted to tear my hair out. I wanted to kiss her.

"Yeah, but the fact that you had to make a decision, that it didn't just come to you makes you selfish!"

I'm a very patient person, but she was actually wearing it thin. I steadied myself and kept my voice level. "I'm not selfish. I'm sorry about everything that's gone on but it's over now. Jacob is only a friend now, to both of us, and I'm yours. Alright?"

She looked down then up, then right at me, "Yeah, alright."

"Good. Can I have a hug?"

"No! I still haven't forgiven you!" she turned her back to me, and I got the hint and left.

"I understand love, and I understand wanting to be with her forever, but fir at least right now, you two should probably take a break. She's not happy and needs time to think. And you have plenty of patience to wait it out."

I looked down and nodded my head. I took my elbows off my needs and stood up. "That's probably what's best."

Jasper quietly whispered, "Plus, she's human. She can't stay with you much longer."

I turned around on him with a growl. He looked at me calmly. Alice took Jasper's head in her hands and told him in a voice that was so firm it sounded mildly mad, which she never was with him, "Don't say that! He's entitled to love whoever he wants. She's going to be one of us anyway."

I whipped my head around, "What did you just say?"

"Look, I saw it alright? I can't change what I see, and right now I see her changing."

I wanted to be with her forever, but not like that. Not that way. Never that way. "No," I growled ferociously, "she won't."

"I don't see anything changing. Edward just admit it. She's going to change. That means she doesn't die from the change and that you two are together forever. It's great! Plus, we're going to be great friends."

Emmett chirps in at the worst possible moment "Aw sweet! I get to fight a newborn! Sweet!"

Esme looks at him in a way that made her seem oddly human, like a mother. "Emmett hush." He looked down and shuffled his feet. If the subject hadn't been so serious, I might have laughed out loud.

"I think you should just kill her. She's annoying alive and she's ruining your life." Rosalie looked bored.

I took a dive at her. Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle jumped on me and held me down as I hissed and growled, trying to break free. They pulled me into the piano room and held me down. I felt a calm coming down over me and I looked at Jasper. I relaxed and put my head on the floor.

I walk back into the room and look at Rosalie, "I'm not killing her,"

"Well, you've got to do something with her. You know that."

I nod and close my eyes. "Once our break is over, I'll talk to her."

Just then I got a call from Jacob. "I need you to visit Bella. Now. Don't drive, run. She's in danger.

I panicked. "In danger of… what?" I didn't want to know. I had to know. The second it took for him to answer seemed like an hour.

"Dying… from a vampire attack. He's half a mile from her house in the woods and she's sleeping. He's stalking her. I can't get over there."

I ended the call. When I got to Bella's street I heard a scream. I thought I was going to pass out; it was mistakenly Bella's.


End file.
